What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Where can I sell naked pics of myself online?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why is blood sugar ranging from 70-180 in a day and checked through a glucometer?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Do you believe that social media companies should allow posts spreading misinformation about election results, as suggested by Rep. Jim Jordan?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What were the career paths of each member of "The Monkees" after the band disbanded? Did any of them have successful music careers?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why are Republicans such intolerant people?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

My stepdaughter’s mom tells her I’m not a real dance teacher, but my stepdaughter has seen me in action. Why does she still question my abilities?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What were some things that the ancient Greeks excelled at compared to the Romans?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!